Is It Wrong To Be Enjoying Lockdown?
I’ve almost been afraid to admit it, but here goes…I have enjoyed the lockdown.
That might sound flippant or insensitive to some, but I believe it needs to be said. We have all battled in some way shape or form over the last 6 weeks, each dealing with our own demons.
Restrictions
For me, the restriction of freedom and lack of being able to get out and about was the hardest part. I’m an active person who is constantly looking for challenges, so being restricted in space was a shock.
In the last few years, I’ve completed an IRONMAN triathlon, America’s toughest marathon and cycled the width of the UK; so, I’m used to being able to head out the front door and disappear for a few hours.
But when lockdown started, it at all changed.
Out went the morning routine of going to the gym, out went the audiobook listening on the commute and out went the takeaway coffees.
I am by no means saying this was the end of the world, far from it, but like many, my daily routine was disrupted in an instant.
As a result, my flat became my residence for 24/7.
This presented challenges for all of us, and the need to establish new routines. It became evident very quickly that without a routine, all the days merge into one.
This would be a slippery slope.
The Morning
Rolling out of bed, straight onto endless zoom calls, venturing no further than the kitchen for refreshments whilst the 10k daily steps becomes a pipedream. This was very nearly a reality.
Being aware of this, I made a conscious effort to get up at the same time each day to exercise. Having swapped the gym for yoga in the front room, it helped. It did take some getting used to and I dragged myself kicking and screaming in a few early instances.
But the tide began to change, and with it I became more familiar with the enforced surroundings.
The morning routine had different elements yes, but I was able to find something that worked for me. Everyone is different, and it’s important to remember that.
In the same way that there is always “an app for that” (think of note taking through OneNote, EverNote, DayOne, Trello etc etc) what works for me, won’t necessarily work for you.
For reference, good old Apple Notes is my go-to.
The Evening
The end of the day needed working on too.
I learned the hard way early on, that if I didn’t make a concerted effort to step away from the computer, the hours slipped by at an alarming rate. In a blink of an eye, I’d been sat in the same seat for 14+ hours barely clocking in more than 1,000 steps.
This was not sustainable and found it out the hard way a few days later.
The day started under a cloud after sleeping badly. Knowing that I was irritable from the off, it didn’t get any better. A few testing calls, reports to write and problems to solve and I’d run out of steam.
In fact, it was more than steam. I’d had enough. My motivation levels were low. I just didn’t feel it.
Single Entry Ticket
Along time ago, I made a deal with myself: being down (or feeling sorry for yourself) is a ‘one day only club’ — you can join for 24 hours only, but after that you get kicked out.
It is easier said than done but really helped me not slip into a cycle of anger, sorrow or resentment.
The other aspect, and probably the more significant of the two, was I talked to someone.
Well, it was 2 people, but you know what I mean.
I told my best mates at work I was struggling and almost immediately the WhatsApp video notification popped up on the phone. Very quickly the conversation turned to utter nonsense and laughter filled the room.
They both were concerned and made sure I was alright, but then proceeded to make me laugh more than I had in a long time.
In tough times, laughter can really help. Just look at Ricky Gervais’ afterlife!
Awareness
Now I’m very aware of 2 important factors:
- I have a job which hasn’t been impacted by furlough arrangements
- I have friends I can talk to
It should be noted that in the current climate, these 2 elements can easily be regarded as luxuries. I don’t want to be insensitive at all so won’t dwell on them.
But suffice it to say, being able to share your concerns is what matters. Whether that be with your friends, family, or therapist, it doesn’t matter.
The important part is you talk to someone. Please don’t bottle it up; no good can come from that, I promise.
With all this in mind, I started to create some sort of normality, getting used to every new (but repetitive) day that lay ahead. I did surprise myself with how quickly I settled into the new rhythm, but it did take some time.
As the days ticked by, I began to reflect on the current situation: millions of people holed up at home unable to move freely and restricted by social distancing when venturing out the front door.
Fact or Fiction
With time to take stock, I had a lightbulb moment…I think I’m enjoying lockdown.
Now this feels like a dirty phrase and something that should be whispered behind closed doors, so not to offend anyone. It certainly isn’t de rigour at present. But where did it come from?!
Let me explain where I’ve got to now and you can tell me if you think I’m smoking my socks or not!
As an introvert, I re-energise by spending time on my own, or more accurately with my own company.
I’ve known this for a long time and have used writing in coffee shops & the gym as sanctuaries to deal with the increasingly demanding daily life. Therefore, I’m used to having time to myself.
The difference in lockdown is that I’m spending time with my other half too.
We’ve been together for over 10 years and in that time have got used to each other’s company. The lockdown time is different though, because you can lose your own space. But that aside, we’ve been fine.
The main difference between us is she is an extrovert; thereby re-energising by being around others.
This, of course, has not been possible with lockdown, so she has struggled more than I have. The drinks after work, the socialising at the weekend or even spending time with family has disappeared overnight.
Zoom and social media help but it’s not the same.
Because we both view social situations from different angles, the impact of lockdown affects us differently.
It was this approach which made me realise I am enjoying the lockdown.
Why?
The complete lack of pressure to do things.
Before COVID-19, it was always a juggling act for social engagements, family commitments or exercising activities. But now, none of this is happening so all bets are off.
I don’t feel bad for not wanting to go out, meet someone or socialise. This is not me being grumpy or anti-social, rather the relief of feeling like I “had” to do something. The fact I can read in the evening, binge watch Netflix or write more of my book, because there is no pressure (or expectation) to do anything is such a relief.
I am very aware that what my fear is someone else’s excitement. And my other half falls into this category.
She cannot wait to meet up with her friends and step back into the social gatherings. I can understand this, as she thrives off it.
But I don’t.
And to be honest, I not looking forward to losing the response of “I can’t because of lockdown”.
Do I have a problem with social situations? No, I don’t believe I do. It is more that I have become far more protective over how I spend my time.
Time is a hugely precious resource, and I think we have all been far too guilty in the past of wasting it.
But since our freedom has been temporarily revoked by CoronaVirus, we’ve had more time to consider what is happening in our lives.
I am also very aware that I more fortunate than many:
- I do not have children to home school,
- I do have a small garden, and
- I do have a job I in which I can work from home.
With all this in mind, I can be relatively selfish with how I spend my time. The only person it is directly affecting is my other half.
Over the years, I have become far more selective with who I spend my time with. This is a direct reflection that time is precious, and I’m not prepared to waste hours which are important to me.
That might sound harsh, but I’m comfortable with it.
Which brings me back to the issue of enjoying lockdown…
Is it really fair to say that I’m enjoying lockdown? I think so.
That said, it is important to understand why I am enjoying it. As an introverted person who has personal development goals and is selective with whom I spend time, the lockdown suits my make-up.
With that in mind, I’m going to end it there.
Whether you fall on the introvert or extrovert side, I hope you are safe and well and surviving lockdown. We are all in this together, we just deal with it in different ways.
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