Making a Great 1st Impression: 7 EFFECTIVE Tips
According to Jordan Belfort, one of the most notorious and world-renowned salesmen in the world, the judgment or impression of a person can be established in just four seconds.
In those four brief seconds, it’s super important to do things in the right way for someone to warm to you, trust you, and hopefully see you as an expert.
But the problem is, how do you make a great first impression?
In this video, I’m going to give you 7 tips on ‘How you can make a great first and lasting impression’ that will make you look like a person with unbelievable charisma and unshakeable confidence.
So how do we make a great 1st impression?
Good question.
These tips are a result of experiences (some good / some not so good) but all help us understand how to get full marks when meeting someone for the 1st time.
Number 1: Dress Appropriately
Many people believe in the saying that you should never judge a book by its cover and that’s true. Well, we shouldn’t, right?
But we also have to admit that, at some point, even if mistakenly, we have all judged a person based on their appearance or on how they dress. Was it the ankle swinging trousers you turned your nose up at? Or the ripped jeans that turned you off? Whatever the reason (It might not be ‘your style’, your preference or just not something you’d wear) we are all guilty have jumping to conclusions.
Let’s imagine for a moment that you’re going to an important business meeting full of senior executives. They’re all suited and booted. All looking sharp…wearing suits & ties.
And there’s you — wearing a t-shirt and chinos.
Not only do you feel really awkward, you’ll also be overcome with pangs of doubt.
What will the executives think of you? Are you going to be worth their trust? I would hope everyone looks past your clothing misstep, but there is a strong chance the answer to these questions could be no.
Alternatively, how about going on a date with someone you like.
This will be your 1st date.
The nerves are jangling, the heart is pounding, but you are excited about this encounter.
The problem is however, you completely misjudge the situation and went on your date wearing only a t-shirt, shorts, and a pair of flip flops.
If you’re the girl or boy being met, what would you think about your date?
I’m willing to bet the answer is not good.
Now I know these are quite extreme examples but ‘it’s difficult to make a 2nd first impression’.
That’s why to make a great 1st impression, you need to nail the dress code. It doesn’t matter which code that is, but it needs to be appropriate to the situation, event or occasion.
BONUS TIP: I was told when training as an accountant with one of the Big 4 firms here in London, that you should always dress for where you want to be, NOT where you are. By that, the phrase means aim for success — where you want to be — not for the moment you’re in. I took this to heart and rather than buying a cheap bog-standard suit, I spent a bit more and had it fitted.
Yes, it cost a bit more, f*ck me it made me feel good. Not only did it look good, it made me feel a million dollars. I had gone from a trainee accountant to a successful executive in one fell swoop (well in my head at least).
So, if you’re going to a business meeting, dress like an executive.
If you’re going on a date, dress like a gentleman who will really take care of his date.
Ultimately, taking a moment to double check the dress code, or check with a friend as to what your wearing will save some embarrassing moments but could also land you the deal or date of your dreams!
Number 2: Body Language
The second tip on making a great first impression is using your body language.
Body language is so important.
As defined by David Stephens, a senior mentor at Body Language Academy “Body language is the way the body communicates and reacts to the environment around it as well as what is happening internally to a person,”
It’s all the things you don’t say that create your 1st impression.
Think about it, have you experienced the situation where right before you talk to someone, they irritate you in some way or another, and you cannot explain why?
Yep, I certainly can.
I know this is judgemental and I’ve worked hard to make sure it doesn’t happen but am sure we can all relate.
The reason behind this reaction, most of the time, is their body language.
You see body language is very important in non-verbal communication. Your body language gives off signals as to the kind of person you are.
According to Albert Mehrabian, a psychology professor and famous for his relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages:
- 55% of communication comes from body language,
- 38% is for the voice or tone of the speaker, and
- only 7% words.
Let that sink in for a moment.
From the importance of all communication, only 7% comes from words. Wow. Perhaps I should stop speaking and do these videos through the medium dance? Actually, you don’t want to see that… (insert Friday dance video)
Don’t worry though as there are several things you can do to have effective body language when you’re meeting someone for the first time.
The easiest method is to always keep your posture open — don’t cross your arms or legs — as this may give off the impression that you don’t want to talk, or you don’t want to be disturbed. The act of crossing arms can give conflicting interpretations if not taken into account with the whole picture.
Something simple which we can all do is make eye contact often. You can accompany this with a friendly but firm handshake (remember what these are from before COVID times?!)
The combination of these two acts will make you look like a confident individual and most likely raise your chances of creating a great 1st impression.
Number 3: Let Them Know You Care
The third tip I have on making a great first impression is: ‘Let Them Know That You Care’.
The phrase says it all.
Everyone wants someone to genuinely care for them.
Even if it’s your first-time meeting with someone, there are a variety of ways to let them know that you care.
An example of this is, say for example, when we’re going on a date, we can show the other person we care by giving our date some flowers or some chocolates.
This may, for some, be a little awkward, but really who doesn’t want free chocolates?
This little action is not only courteous (I’m a huge stickler in manners and treating people correctly) and shows just how much you appreciate them — even if it’s your first-time meeting.
Manners are dying out and it hurts me. Manners cost nothing at the end of the day but can make all the difference.
Number 4: Tonality Can Make A Difference
The fourth tip I have on making a great first impression is: Tonality Can Make A Difference.
You see, tonality is a very powerful tool in communication.
As I said earlier, communication is 38% voice and tonality. Not just what we say but how we say it.
Imagine if you met someone for the first time, and he or she suddenly breaks into a gut-wrenching scream and shouts at you… how would you feel?
Would it be surprise? Shock? Or even anger? Perhaps a little of all 3…?
I mean…we’d all be hard pressed not to I reckon. The unprovocated shouting or aggression shown is not a great way to endear yourself to someone.
What does that do to our first impression?
Chances are it’s not good.
I know it sounds obvious, but how your tonality is used can dramatically alter the way you are viewed. If you want to have a successful and great first impression, make sure to be aware of how you come across.
If it’s important to you, practice the way you speak — the pitch, the rate, the volume, the inflections, the tempo, the vocal variety, anything that can improve your tonality.
Seriously practice it.
When I started public speaking I was very aware of needing to come across ‘well’. I’m fortunate that I enjoy public speaking and feel comfortable talking to an audience. Doesn’t mean I don’t get nervous, the heart is still going like the clappers in the beginning. I’m just able to control it.
That doesn’t excuse the need to practice. As the special forces say, hope for the best, plan for the worst.
Whilst you may not be going into a war zone, hope alone is not enough! Get the plans nailed down and I have no doubt that one of those elements will be the need to practice. So start now. Well not exactly this minute, but after you’ve watched this video… ;-)
Number 5: Use Your Secret Weapon
The fifth tip that I wanted to share is one I use regularly.
It is my secret weapon.
It completely disarms people (not literally from guns etc) obviously.
This is to smile.
Yep, that’s right, smiling is a secret weapon. (Insert Zoolander pose here)
Going into a situation where making a great first impression is vital, then smiling is your starting point.
When we see a person with a calm demeanour and with a genuine smile, what do we feel?
We, most likely, assume that person is trustworthy and authentic. Smiling can also be a powerful weapon in creating a lasting first impression.
It can build rapport instantly and can take you to a whole new level of communicating.
Smiling is also is very contagious.
If we smile a lot, we often pass that positive vibes to the person we’re talking to. So if we’re meeting someone for the very first time, and you greet that person with our warmest and sincerest smile, more likely than not, that person will also be uplifted and energized.
Flashing a big smile doesn’t make you weak.
Flashing a big smile will make you more confident, happy, friendly, warmth and full of positive feelings.
A genuine smile may start at the lips, but it also involves the eyes. The eyes communicate the emotions behind the smile.
I’m sure you have your smiled nailed by now but just in case, practice in front of a mirror your smile so you can see what the other person will see.
By practicing now, you give youself a much better chance of being perceived as someone who’s friendly, accepting, intelligent, resourceful, honest, and trustworthy. These are all attributes which contribute to making a great first impression. The of course have to be true to you too!
I remember when younger how talking to girls was always really nerve wracking. Building up the courage to say hello to someone you liked, was hard. The fear of rejection always present in my mind. To help overcome this, I would approach someone smiling.
A smile is disarming — It helped me start a conversation.
I mean how difficult is it not to smile back when someone smiles at you?
Number 6: Listen. Actively.
The sixth tip maybe one of the most important and that is to Actively Listen.
If you’ve ever listened to or read a self-help book about communication active listening is always the first thing you will hear.
As a life coach, I know how important active listening is. I would say that many people understand the definition, but only a few selected individuals can master it.
Active listening is one of the focal points of communication.
It is far too easy to fall in the trap of of passively listening to someone when they first meet. This could be because they are nervous and focusing too much on what they are going to say next.
Active listening tells the other person that you care about them; that you value them.
It is also a form of message that tells the other person their thoughts are being heard and respected.
The simplest method to demonstrate active listening is by just asking the person a specific question about what they’ve just said.
Actively listening also implies focusing on the person you’re talking to. Not having distractions such as mobile phones (on the table when talking!) creates an environment which helps you listen actively.
100% focus is needed if you want to have a smooth and great conversation with them.
It may take time and you may need to stop your mind from wandering to what you’ll have for supper that evening, but if you can master the art of active listening, you will give yourself a significant advantage in creating a great 1st impression.
Number 7: Be You
The seventh and last tip I can give you is just: Be Yourself.
You do indeed need to master the tips I talked through but being yourself is super important.
This shows authenticity. A word which is regularly overused in wrong situations.
But being true to yourself in how you act, speak and communicate means you will always give your best.
I think being honest & genuine in a meeting is the most powerful thing you can do when meeting someone for the first time.
Fundamentally, the person you are meeting is there to meet you.
Not the person you’re trying to become.
You just have to be confident, honest, and authentic.
By doing so, will help build trust with you.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t need to flex in different situations. Being aware of the nuances in a situation means you may need to dial up or down particular elements we’ve talked through.
But I would say, always be authentic.
Conclusion
And there you have it.
These are 7 simple tips to help you make a great first impression.
If you love what you are seeing from this channel, please don’t forget to hit the like button and make sure you push the bell icon too so you will be updated for all my future videos.
I’d also love to hear what your most unforgettable 1st impressions moments are, so drop me a comment down below.
If you liked this video, please do check out this video here where I talk about how to sell yourself in an interview without sounding like a dick.
And with that, have a great day and I’ll see you in the next video.
Cheers!
